Like most of you, I have spent the past two months staring into the void at my computer screen. (Last week, Apple said I averaged 8 hours, 28 minutes of screen time per day, and that was down 9 percent from the previous week.)
I am prone to time-sucking YouTube binges. You know how it starts. First, you search for a specific video, then you click on a related one that YouTube conveniently places in front of you. Next thing you know, you have lost a significant portion of your day.
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Recently, I was far down a YouTube rabbit hole when I stumbled on one of my favorite videos: a spoof of local advertisements starring professional athletes that was produced by Sports Illustrated and featured Scott Hartnell.
Take three minutes and watch it.
The athlete should not be comfortable. The athlete should not have inflection in his or her voice, and the athlete should have no expression on his or her face. That’s a small-business commercial with an athlete endorsement.
For once, aimlessly clicking around YouTube was productive because it got me thinking about past Predators commercials. (I suppose “productive” is open to interpretation.)
Before the 2008-09 season, the Predators unveiled a marketing campaign called “It Stays With You.” As part of it, Dan Ellis, Jordin Tootoo, J.P. Dumont and Martin Erat made cameos in commercials that featured them in office settings.
Even a fresh-faced Taylor Swift, who had not yet metamorphosed into a global pop sensation, made an appearance. (Gish, Sherwood & Friends, which helped create the player-focused spots, was kind enough to provide copies.)
In the interest of nostalgia, let us review them:
Dan Ellis
Scene: Two co-workers are chatting in a cubicle. One is regaling the other about Ellis’ impenetrable performance at a recent game. He throws a crumpled piece of paper off-screen, which Ellis, also off-screen, stops.
“C’mon, is that all you got?” Ellis says before smothering the man for some reason. At the end, Ellis is still working over the guy, punching him with his glove hand.
Thoughts: Why would Ellis manhandle someone who was praising him? Also, Ellis never fought during his career. This was the most nonsensical ad in the campaign, but perhaps it was the precursor to #DanEllisProblems.
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Jordin Tootoo
Scene: Again, two co-workers are having a conversation about a Predators game. The woman is explaining how Tootoo checked an opponent into the boards, as was his wont. She summons Tootoo to demonstrate. He pummels her boss before a 2 p.m. meeting.
“Better make that 2:30,” Tootoo says with the cool delivery of a ’90s action star reciting his catchphrase.
Thoughts: Tootoo was right at home in this spot. I am also impressed by the damage the actor is willing to absorb. That actor, Bill Russell, claimed in his YouTube description of the video that he “almost called (Tootoo) the ‘P’ word to get him to hit me hard.” Russell also said Tootoo “gave me a hematoma.” That is commitment to one’s craft.
J.P. Dumont
Scene: Two women are discussing the Predators over lunch. One asserts that she “was probably the loudest person in the entire arena.” She turns to Dumont, who is reading the business section of a newspaper and bears resemblance to Quentin Tarantino if you squint hard enough, for validation.
“Your friend’s got pipes,” he says before returning to his paper. The other woman gestures toward Dumont and asks, “Does that come with the tickets?”
Thoughts: I appreciate Dumont supporting (presumably) local journalism. I also cannot unsee him as Tarantino.
Martin Erat
Scene: As two men stand near a vending machine, one is trying to describe a goal scored by Erat, who steps into the frame and refers to it in Czech as an “‘I smoked you’ kind of shot.” Erat dislodges snacks from the machine by shouldering it. One man gets greedy, asking for crackers and pretzels, the latter of which is apparently “better for his waistline.”
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Thoughts: I imagine that at least one of you is rushing to superimpose a Filip Forsberg joke on top of the original subtitle. I know my audience.
Taylor Swift
Scene: At breakfast, a daughter tells her mother that she spotted Swift at a Predators game the night before. The mom is skeptical until Swift materializes in the kitchen to confirm the story. Swift breaks the fourth wall, meowing into the camera while flashing a pair of fang fingers.
Thoughts: This commercial was posted on the Predators’ website in February 2009 when Swift was on the come-up. It was a big get. Apparently, it was not the first time Swift did the team a solid. As former Chicago Blackhawks coach Denis Savard told it, she distracted a 19-year-old Patrick Kane long enough for him to lose his man on a Predators goal during a 2008 game in Nashville.
As long as the Predators do not hang a banner honoring Swift, they should be good. (Please, no banner jokes.)
(Photo of Taylor Swift: Screenshot from YouTube)
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